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Respite

A Critical Social Support System for Family Caregivers

Respite (rěs´pit) n. 1. A temporary cessation or postponement, usually of something difficult; an interval of rest or relief 2. To provide with a period of temporary rest or relief

1 in 4 families is responsible for the care of a chronically ill or aging family member.

Caregivers belong to a very special group. Most have not asked for the responsibility but they have accepted it. In doing so, they have embarked upon a journey that can be joyous or fraught with mental, physical, financial and social consequences. Often these individuals don’t even identify themselves as caregivers. However, they deserve care, support and consideration.

Family caregivers have knowingly or unknowingly embarked upon the roller coaster ride of their lives. Whether they get off the ride shaken and bruised or ready to go again, is in part, a function of the help and support they receive along the way.

The process of caregiving is a complex one ranging from simple tasks such as trips to the grocery store to providing the most basic of daily living activities such as feeding, bathing, and transportation, to coordinating medications, medical appointments, dealing with financial responsibilities and more.

In short, a caregiver is asked to be responsible for what takes a team of doctors, three shifts of nurses, laundry, kitchen, pharmacy, lab, janitorial staff, procurement team, accountant, chauffer service, medical advocate and counselor, to accomplish.

Caregiving can include short term events such as a broken hip, recovery from surgery, heart attack, or cancer. Or it can be longer term with chronic diseases such as heart and kidney disease, AIDS or Alzheimer’s; in some cases caregiving can extend 5, 10 or even 20 years. And inevitably, for all of us, family caregiving will involve dealing with end of life issues.

As the length of time for caregiving increases, as people with chronic conditions live longer, new strategies are critical for caregivers to survive the process with spirit, health and family intact.

Most often, the primary responsibility of caregiving falls to one individual, usually the spouse or adult female child. It is imperative for the primary caregivers continued health to have periods of respite from the daily challenges of caregiving. The longer the caregiving assignment and the more chronic the condition of the care recipient the more important it is to have respite from caregiving responsibilities.

It’s little wonder that caregivers who go it alone are more prone to higher levels of depression, anxiety and other mental health challenges.

In addition, more than one third of caregivers suffer from poor health themselves including:

high blood pressure
increased risk of hypertension
double the risk for heart disease
poor immune function,
slower wound healing
decreased life span

Family Dynamics

Let’s face it, families are imperfect. Relationships between parents and children, even adult children, can be fraught with emotional baggage. In some instances caregivers may find themselves caring for a family member who they have always had a difficult relationship with.

In cases of volatile family dynamics it is even more critical for the primary caregiver to establish and maintain a variety of social networks as a means of coping with the high stresses associated with caregiving.

You can use your CareGiverHelper family community to keep your social networks appraised of the ongoing caregiving situation and ask for help when needed.

Social Networks

There should always be at least three social networks in play in any caregiving situation: the family social network, the care recipient’s social network, and the caregiver’s social network.

The Family network

The family social network is one of the most critical, because ultimately the responsibility of caregiving falls to the family. The family network can include the immediate family: spouse, adult children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews as well as those connected by marriage.

Even with the size of families decreasing and geography playing a role there are still plenty of people to assist with the caregiving duties. Just as each family member has a different relationship with the parent or loved one, each person has special skills and strengths that can be a valuable part of the caregiving process.

Although some family members might not be physically present to help with daily living activities, they can address the need for information, locating local services and programs, dealing with financial issues, and handling external communications.

Others can assist with shopping, transportation, trips to the doctor, errands and other tasks related to caregiving.

The Care Recipient's Social Network

Never underestimate the importance of maintaining the care recipient’s circle of friends and social contacts including church and club members as a part of the social support network. These friends can lend important support to the caregiving process.

They can spend time with the care recipient and provide comfort and support at a difficult time. Regular visits from friends and members of their social circle will help to eliminate some of the feelings of isolation, particularly if the care recipients have mobility or other impairments that prevent them from leaving the house.

Members of the care recipient's social network may also fill in for you, the caregiver, for an hour or two to free-up the caregiver for other tasks or much needed respite time.

These individuals may also be willing to run an errand or two. If you always have a “to do” list handy, it’s easier for individuals to pick and choose what they can take on. It also allows you the opportunity to check things off your list that you don’t have to do yourself!

The Caregivers Social Network

Perhaps the most important social network of all is the caregivers private social network; a group of individuals who are not connected to the care recipient in any way. The caregiver’s social network should include plenty of friends, but at least one or two really good ones. It can include co-workers, members of groups or clubs that you belong to, church, or even members of a caregiving support group.

Having a social network provides a buffer for the caregiver from the day to day, sometimes minute by minute challenges and stresses of caregiving which are difficult under the best of circumstances.

This social network can be used for airing problems and concerns, looking for answers to perplexing problems, venting anger, frustration, fears or simply forgetting about caregiving responsibilities for a time by relaxing and having fun.

Respite Time

Time away is an opportunity to forget, about the responsibilities, cares and concerns of caregiving and give some all important attention to you.

Respite time also means not having to attend to errands and other duties of caregiving.

It means a hot bubble bath or a trip to the spa. It’s coffee with a friend or seeing the latest exhibition at the local museum or gallery.

It’s a night bowling with friends, 18 holes of golf, a tennis match, a run, walk, or roller skate, arrange a trip to the hair salon, masseuse, taking a class even though you are sure that you can’t possibly find the time. Appropriate respite activities are anything and everything that allows the caregiver to maintain their sense of self beyond their care recipient and their caregiving responsibilities.

Arranging Respite Time

It’s true that a social network can help relieve some of the stress of caregiving; however it’s also critically important for the primary caregiver to have an opportunity to spend time away from the care recipient. This can be difficult to manage without some help and some planning.

One of the ways to arrange respite time is to stay in contact with your Family Community at CareGiverHelper and let friends and family know when you need them to run a few errands, fill in for you physically at the house, give a hand with transporting a loved one to or from the doctors office.

Even though it may seem impossible respite time is necessary for the continued health of the caregiver and may help prevent burn out and avoid the unnecessary or premature institutionalization of your loved one.

Take some time for yourself today.

“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.” - Henry David Thoreau

co-authored by: Robert M. Zakon

CareGiverHelper, Inc.

CareGiverHelper is an internet healthcare marketing and communications company that assists organizations build brand awareness, client loyalty and new client acquisition, through an online community for family caregivers. This web based service improves task organization and communication between family caregivers in order to assist in facilitating daily activities, emergency response and longer term planning processes. It also includes discussion and support groups that are facilitated by resource communities that each focus on a specific health related topic. The service is free of charge for non-paid caregivers and their families.